Bust a Nut

A feather in my cap that
I never thought I'd have.

The mass-market men's mag FHM ("For Him Magazine") takes note of THE SECRET LIFE OF LOBSTERS in its September issue, in between pics of bikini-clad babes. "Keep the cost of her meal in check with these nauseating facts from Trevor Corson's book," the tag line reads. The feature goes on to discuss, among other things, the finer points of lobster urination, a fun-filled subject you'll be familiar with if you've read the book.

But my thought is this: if you consider urination to be an appropriate conversation-starter during a dinner date, and/or if your goal on a date is to prevent the lady from ordering something special and delicious, then yes, you deserve to be sitting at home reading FHM.

But I'm being ungrateful. Instead of sitting at home salivating over bikini-clad babes, I do hope readers of FHM will pick up a copy of THE SECRET LIFE OF LOBSTERS and discover that the book shares something with their favorite magazine: sex and information in one convenient package.

I worry, though, that FHM readers may feel inadequate after reading the final factoid in the magazine's feature: "Male lobsters have two penises and take a mere eight seconds to bust a nut. Studs."